Dr. King is crying.

I read a story this morning that made me angry, then it made me scared and now it just makes me sad. There was a young boy in Florida who was attacked on a school bus by three older boys. The news is saying that this was a “retaliation” attack for the George Zimmerman verdict. What happened to Trayvon Martin was a tragedy; it could have been completely avoided if the one holding the gun had called the police instead of going out on, what amounted to, a vigilante raid of the unknown young man in his neighborhood. Thanks  to one idiots actions, we were subject to Rev Sharpton and Jesse Jackson calling for the white man’s head on a platter, how there should be justice for Trayvon, etc, etc. I totally agree with them on this, the shooting and death of this young man was a tragedy. The only question I have for Rev. Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, where were you when this young white man was brutally attacked by the 3 older black kids on the school bus? You were quiet, that’s where.

From what I remember of the history of Dr.King, who Rev. Sharpton and Jesse Jackson rode his coattails to get to where they are at now. Dr. King was all about peace and safety for all people, all children, regardless of color, regardless of social class, regardless of where you came from or where you’re going. His hopes were that one day people of all colors would be able to live in harmony. Rev. Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have been living to make a name for themselves in D.C. by creating and perpetuating controversy between the races. If you were truly living by the beliefs of Dr. King you’d be just as outraged and disgusted by this revenge attack as you were of the Zimmerman/Martin attack. If you could stop being a common political media whore for a few moments, you’d see that being one sided will never get this country back on track to starting to heal the rift that is very obvious in today’s society.

I’m at a crossroads in my life. Our marriage is great, the kids are good, but I've coming to an intersection of what do I want to pursue in my career? I have been accepted into two very interesting programs of study this past Summer, one is Radiation Therapist and the other is Electrical Engineering. Originally I was working my way towards a degree in Nursing with an advanced degree in Nurse Anesthetist, being able to administer anesthesia to patients on an out patient or labor and delivery basis. I've had a long conversation with my wife, who as you all may know is a very good nurse, and she let me know that the future of health care is looking pretty rough. Most of her concerns stem from the cyclical nature of how hospitals operate, where they cull the older, more experienced nurses who are making a very comfortable living, and bring in the less experienced, fresh nurses from schools. This kind of turnover is good for the hospitals, but not so good for the nurses. With this kind of culling, the hospitals can start to impose their new ways of doing things which, again is good for the hospital, but not so much for the nurses or even the patients who are under the care of the new nurses. The culling will also create serious issues between the veterans and the rookies in the nursing profession. The other major drawback is that I would have to quit my current job, which isn't all that rewarding most of the time, but it does pay the bills and it keeps a roof over our heads, food on the table and my car payments paid.

That said, I've been looking at the alternatives, first is a position still in the health profession. Radiation Therapist, this is one that intrigues me because it’s based in both biology and physics. Radiation therapists administer, sometimes known as Dosimeterists, the radiation to cancer patients as needed. This would be a rewarding career in that I would be working with patients who needed me, while getting my physics fix in on the side. The major drawback to this though is that I would, like the nursing school, have to quit my job and like above, house, car, food, etc… would be stretched as I went through the 2-3 year program. I wouldn't be able to sit around and not work because I couldn't do that to Mie, MG or MB, I realize that school would become my full time job, but I still need to bring in close to what I’m making now in a more limited capacity. That’s just not a reality at this point in time.

The other road of the intersection is going to Arizona State U. online to their Electrical Engineering degree program. Because this is online, I would be able to keep my current job and go through the schooling from my desk. Although the thought of building electronics sounds interesting to me, mostly because my uncle use to work for IBM in their robotics division, but also because Electricity scares me a little. Yeah, I know that’s kind of counter-intuitive, but I've learned that the best way to face your fear is to learn more about it. Kind of like ‘Know thine enemy’ sort of thing. Needless to say this degree wouldn't be as “rewarding” as say nursing or being a radiation therapist, it would be a good career to advance from where I’m currently at. 

My mind and my heart are at odds with this, my mind tells me logically go with the Electrical Engineering, it’s in a field I already work in and the EE degree would only help me to advance further into the ranks of where I’m at. My heart tells me to go with the Radiation Therapists training, even though it would potentially causes is to go into the poor house and lose our current residence. But then my gut gets in there and throws a monkey wrench into my thinking with telling me that I should still pursue becoming a nurse, then onto a nurse anesthetist. I was thinking that feeling was residual from the past four years towards one definite goal. I hope that these crossroads give me a clear sign as to what it is that I’m meant to do, standing here at the fork in the road is going to get me run over by the garbage truck driven by time.