This morning is a little slow, I couldn't sleep so I came into work a LOT early. I was trying to figure out what it was. It's the season. I've always really liked the beginning of the Holiday season, the costumes of Halloween, with the little kids coming up and trying to say Trick or Treat as their first real sentence, and the turning of the trees through their fall colors.
I remember the big pot of "home made" chili and corn bread before going out trick or treating, I also remember really wanting to be a robot one year because I saw this really cool costume at the store, but ending up with a box with a bunch of buttons penciled on the front, holes cut in the top and sides for my head and arms, my uncle giving me some dryer hose to go over my arms, smaller boxes to go over my shoes and an aluminum foil helmet. POOF! I was a robot. Or the torn up jeans and shirt and a whole body of green body paint to make a 2nd grade Incredible"ly small" Hulk.
I also remember my parents walking around with us, holding hands and exuding love, even though they never really had a whole lot, they had each other, and that was enough to get through.
One of the great things about having kids is that you get to relive all of the great memories from your childhood.
The other thing that I realized this morning is that this is the 9th anniversary of our Mom passing away. Some people would be sad that they lost their mom, but for us, it was a joyous reunion for our mom and dad. We wept, of course, but we also realized that she was much happier now that our parents were together again.
Love you mom, see you in about 50 years...
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Death and disassociative writing
Monday night I got a terrible shock, it was one of my best friends birthday. He's only about 6 months older than I am, but that's not the shocker. One of the guys that we went to high school with had died suddenly due to a heart attack or something. I'm not sure, I was getting the information 2nd hand.
Here is a guy who almost always seemed to be in good health in most respects. Dead of a heart attack at 36. My friend the Plumper, had known Rich fairly well because he had been dating Plumpers little sister for a while.
Death has a funny way of rearing it's ugly little head now and again to remind me that, yes, I am still alive, but am I living? I tend to not dwell on death too awfully long, but more on things that I could be doing to be living. I could tell people that I love that I love them. I never miss a chance to tell MG that I love her, if I don't tell her in the morning when I wake her up to let her know that I'm leaving and that I love her, than at night just before she goes to bed. I've been trying to tell Mie more on a regular basis, and to tell her how much I really appreciate her. Sometimes I think that she just thinks that I'm being goofy, but I do.
Then there are the times when I'm being too serious, life is too vibrant to walk around being serious, especially with floppy eared hats. Mie has pictures to prove that point. :)
I've done some things in life that I had on my to do list. Things like playing with a Bengal Tiger cub, take flying lessons, go back to school, raise a child who would make my parents proud to have as their smart assed teen granddaughter. Some I've done more than once, like owning a classic Mustang, and some I don't think will come to fruition within my life time like living in a nice little subdivision in Serenity Lake with a nice little view over looking the Earth. Flying a Hillard's Flying platform would have been fun too, but not going to happen in the next 3 years, maybe after that though.
I have stories to write, a daughter to walk down the aisle after I watch her graduate from a prestiges school with a degree in something that she loves to do. I have grand babies to hold and a son-in-law to get use to. I still have a lot to do here, so I'm not any where near finished here.
I say that more for the fact that I don't get into that mindset of "Oh crap" and just get back to the business of living a happy fulfilled life.
So excuse me, but I've got things that I need to be doing, instead of sitting here in front of a computer monitor. I like you all, but I've got to go live.
Here is a guy who almost always seemed to be in good health in most respects. Dead of a heart attack at 36. My friend the Plumper, had known Rich fairly well because he had been dating Plumpers little sister for a while.
Death has a funny way of rearing it's ugly little head now and again to remind me that, yes, I am still alive, but am I living? I tend to not dwell on death too awfully long, but more on things that I could be doing to be living. I could tell people that I love that I love them. I never miss a chance to tell MG that I love her, if I don't tell her in the morning when I wake her up to let her know that I'm leaving and that I love her, than at night just before she goes to bed. I've been trying to tell Mie more on a regular basis, and to tell her how much I really appreciate her. Sometimes I think that she just thinks that I'm being goofy, but I do.
Then there are the times when I'm being too serious, life is too vibrant to walk around being serious, especially with floppy eared hats. Mie has pictures to prove that point. :)
I've done some things in life that I had on my to do list. Things like playing with a Bengal Tiger cub, take flying lessons, go back to school, raise a child who would make my parents proud to have as their smart assed teen granddaughter. Some I've done more than once, like owning a classic Mustang, and some I don't think will come to fruition within my life time like living in a nice little subdivision in Serenity Lake with a nice little view over looking the Earth. Flying a Hillard's Flying platform would have been fun too, but not going to happen in the next 3 years, maybe after that though.
I have stories to write, a daughter to walk down the aisle after I watch her graduate from a prestiges school with a degree in something that she loves to do. I have grand babies to hold and a son-in-law to get use to. I still have a lot to do here, so I'm not any where near finished here.
I say that more for the fact that I don't get into that mindset of "Oh crap" and just get back to the business of living a happy fulfilled life.
So excuse me, but I've got things that I need to be doing, instead of sitting here in front of a computer monitor. I like you all, but I've got to go live.
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